Intertwined with somebody else
by Schreibenszeit
Summary: Stefan has been gone for months. Kidnapped, maybe dead. A desperate Damon and Elena won't give up on him, meanwhile they're growing closer, resulting in a miraculous and unwanted pregnancy... Pairings: Damon x Elena, Stefan x Elena, Stefan x Katherine Somehow AU, also kinda set somewhere in Season 3, just without the Klaus business. Alaric and Jeremy live in Denver.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to my little fanfiction.

Before I start, I wanna say two things:

1) English isn't my native language. If I make mistakes, feel free to tell me (in a nice way). I'm here to learn. Please excuse if my writing style doesn't please you, I'm trying my best, but this is the first time for me to write in another language than my native one, so please don't bother too much with weird-sounding expressions.

2) I'm in the mid of my A-levels, I might not be able to post regularly. I'm gonna try it tho. I've got the whole story planned out, so I really plan on finishing it.

I hope you'll enjoy my story :)

x

 **Chapter 1**

It's been months since I last saw him. Months since our lips touched for the last time, months since I told him I had chosen him over Damon. Not that I didn't care about Damon, I did, I still do, but I came to the conclusion that I couldn't give up Stefan for Damon. I loved him, he was my saviour, our relationship was my safe haven. Going back to him was a guaranty for my own happiness, and for his. Choosing Damon would have meant adventure and excitement, love and passion but it would also have meant hurt and fights. As bad as it sounds, Damon was used to being rejected by me. Sure, after Stefan was taken for the first time and went off the rails, we had our moments, but I think he had always known that I belonged to Stefan. He was hurt, I knew it and it hurt me as well, but he drowned his pain in liquor and learned to live with it. I thought I had lost him for a little while but then Stefan disappeared. He was the first to volunteer to go looking for him. After all, he was his brother. We knew Stefan had not planned on leaving. It sure as hell wasn't like him and he did not take any belongings with him. We had to deal with the truth – someone had kidnapped him, and we had no idea why. Or who. First thing we did was calling Bonnie for a locator spell. It did not succeed. After realizing this, I thought he was dead. I was ready to collapse, it was worse than being staked in the heart. I felt grief spreading through my veins, this incredible sadness was filling my entire body and I burst into tears. Damon pulled me in his consoling hug and I sobbed into his shirt. He was devastated. And then Bonnie said something which brought my hopes up. It is my light and I still cling to it. As desperate as I am right now, I s till have this glimmer of hope that's keeping me from eternal grief and total devastation.

"He might be cloaked. I'm sure he is. Why would someone just kill him, without leaving a trail, without giving a reason? Only evil people kill without a reason and evil people are sloppy. We would have found his body. Somebody has him cloaked. Maybe they wanna blackmail us. Or they're punishing him. But I'm sure he's alive."

I heard Damon's sigh of relief.

"Good thinking, little witch", he said. "It's true. If someone had killed him for no reason, we would have found him. If he had given anyone the reason to kill him, he would have told us. Or his killer would have told us he's dead. That's the whole point of revenge, take it from me."

"That means... either someone is blackmailing us or someone has captured him because he wants something from him. And if it's punishing him, he's probably still alive.", I concluded.

We all knew that was only part of the truth. While the possibility existed that he was cloaked, he could as well be dead, his corpse thrown into the ocean. We just couldn't even start thinking it. As long as there was still hope that he was alive, we had to cling to it. Therefore, we considered our options.

"Possibility A", Damon summed up, "Someone took him hostage to blackmail us. In that case, they're gonna come to us. All we have to do is wait. Possibility B. Someone kidnapped him and is keeping him in captivity. Maybe a little torture, maybe not."

"That is so not funny, Damon", I interrupted.

He ignored me.

"In that case, we have to find out who. Who could have a reason to capture him? Where could he be? Maybe someone is forcing him to go off the rails again, like Klaus did. Then he's gonna leave a trail of bodies. THAT should not be hard to miss. We have to keep our eyes and ears open. As for possible enemies, we may have to go through his diaries, if you and I have no suggestions who it could be. Lexi would be really helpful right now", he sighed.

"Too bad you killed her", Bonnie commented angrily.

"Yeah. My bad", he replied. I could tell he was actually sorry, even though he tried to hide it through his snarky answer. _Possibility C. He's dead.,_ a voice in my head said.

And then we started. With each day, we got a little less optimistic. Caroline joined in, her mom promised to provide us if any suspicious murders occurred. They didn't. Nobody messaged us with any demands, nobody tried to blackmail us. We went through his diaries, dividing up certain periods of time among us. I noticed that Damon chose to deal with his ripper days, trying to protect me from too much knowledge. He and I knew that Stefan wasn't responsible but I knew he feared it would disturb me. I was grateful and admired how selfless he was. I knew he still loved me and if he just showed me the ripper diaries, it might have increased his chances since it would probably make me despise Stefan, at least a little bit. But he wanted to protect me from the truth, he wanted to keep me as happy as possible, he wanted to keep my memories of Stefan intact. It broke my heart to see how much he loved me, how sincere his love was. And if I could, I would have given him what he wanted, but I could not.

We checked some people we thought might be involved. Some of them were dead, some could not be found. Some of them didn't remember him. None of the suspects seemed to have done it.

As time passed, we ran out of options. I couldn't rest, knowing he was out there. My heart was aching to see him alive.

After we checked suspects, we checked every name that ever occurred in his diaries. We listened to the news, hell, we started to check incidents where blood bags had gone missing. That was not as easy since we didn't want to cross any angry vampire's pass.

Since Jeremy and Alaric had left for Denver to spend a better life there, I basically moved in to the Boardinghouse. I slept in one of the guest rooms, but most of the time I was in front of the fireplace. Damon and I sometimes watched TV together. We knew we shouldn't stop working but it was so damn tiring. No results. Ever.

We grew closer, and we talked much during working. I got to know things about him that I wouldn't have guessed. I got parts of his life story, I got his favourite colour and his favourite food as a human. He cooked for me. When I cried, he hugged me and made me laugh with one of his sarcastic jokes. As much as I missed Stefan, I enjoyed every second I spent with Damon. I wouldn't want to go through this with anyone else.

x

So, this it it. It's more of an introduction. The next chapter will contain some Delena action :) I would really appreciate some feedback!

Love,

Nina


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there x

Thanks for the review and the follows! I really appreciate them. As for spelling errors - I actually found one afterwards which annoys me af but I have no idea how to edit it haha I feel like such a noob. Sorry! I also have no idea where commas are supposed to be, sorry for that!

x

I stare into the fire, lost in my thoughts. When Damon enters the room, I do not even notice at first. He makes his way to where the alcohol is stored and pours himself a glass of whiskey.

"Want some?", he asks, tearing me out of my thoughts. Surprised, I turn around on the couch and see him. His dark hair is messy and he looks tired, he has done research on an incident of missing blood bags somewhere in Utah all day. Obviously without any results, he would have been the first to tell me.

"Elena?"

"Uhm", I say reluctantly while he's smiling a weak grin, "Yes. Why not."

He smirks, fills another glass and gives it to me. Every single one of his actions is somehow typical for him. The way he gives me the glass, the way he does the eye thing, the way he holds the glass and the way he drinks the liquor. It is all typical Damon. Usually, I don't drink because – not being a vampire – I don't have a high tolerance level and a hangover would not remotely help me in our search. But after months, I have reached an amount of frustration that demanded to be coped with by getting drunk and forgetting about it. When Damon takes the whole bottle and sits beside me on the couch, I don't even mind. By the time he made himself comfortable, my glass is already empty and I pour myself another one.

He arches his eyebrows. "Easy there, this is strong."

"I know", I simply say. He nods.

"You know, I sometimes think it has no point. Maybe he does not want to be found, maybe he's been dead for months.", he says after a little while of silence.

Some time ago, I would have protested, but today I just take another sip.

"But maybe he isn't. That's why we can't give up."

"You're right.", I agreed.

I don't feel very talkative. I'm just sad and I feel so lonely. When I glance over to him, he looks like he wants to say something. Instead, he just drinks straight from the bottle.

"Easy there, this is strong", I attempt to joke.

He smirks again and says: "I know. Perks of being a vampire."

All in all, it seems like a depressing evening after depressing months of no results and continually decreasing chances of ever seeing the love of my life again. I didn't plan on it, but I feel how I slowly get drunk.

"You know what", I say, not exactly knowing why, "you're so much cooler than I thought you were. Like I know you're supposed to be all bad and shit but you've been so helpful and empathetic these last months I almost think you've become a saint."

He chuckles and turns to me on the sofa.

"More like the devil in disguise."

"Nah", I say, sliding closer to him and holding up my newly refilled glass. "I'd like to propose a toast to our failure of a friendship consisting of two people unable to make any kind of progress. Nasdorovje."

This time, he actually laughs. We both reached the phase of intoxication where everything is funny.

"Cheers", he says.

I don't know how, but after the funny phase we reached the complete wasted phase where we're sobbing into each other's clothing and confessing our darkest secrets.

"I am so sorry for not getting on good terms with Stefan for a goddamn century", he admits. "I miss him. I feel so bad for being such an asshole before he disappeared."

"That was my fault", I reply, "I was so hard on you. I've never said this but I'm so sorry for how I treated you. It wasn't fair."

"You mean, making out with me and going back to Stefan?", he said with a slightly ironic tone in his voice.

"Yeah. Exactly."

"Truth be told, it was worth it", he says. I roll my eyes and try to focus and give him a serious look.

"I'm honestly sorry. I shouldn't have given in."

"Given in?", he repeats in an interrogative way.

I look away. I can't stand his crystal blue gaze. It's insane but his face looks so damn innocent and good at the same time. I feel it again. It never went away. He's like a magnet pulling me towards him. I move away from him, but he leans forward.

"In what?"

"You know what", I say, still unable to look at him.

He grabs my face and turns it towards him, captivating me with his eyes.

"I'm not sure. You tell me. Something like this?"

And with that, he kisses me. At the touch of his lips, my whole body seems to burst. It's overwhelming. Despite being wasted, I feel everything clearly, every millimetre of his skin on mine, I feel his hand on my cheek. Adrenaline is pumping through my body and as much as my brain tells me to let go, I simply can't. I'm weak. He _makes_ me weak. He pulls away and I open my eyes in a wondering expression. He doesn't look at me, he looks down, like he's embarrassed and ashamed of what he's done. _Of course he is_ , the rational voice in my head says, _you're with Stefan._

"Sorry", he mumbles, but I don't let him finish the sentence. I know I shouldn't, but I just can't stop it. I give in, another time. My lips meet his and it's like I have always longed for him. It's not a gentle kiss, it's passionate and devouring and by the power with which I throw myself against him I actually manage to push him down on the couch. A 200-year-old vampire.

Lying on top of him, my fingers slide through his dark and gorgeous hair while my tongue parts his lips and begins to explore his mouth. I feel his fingers on my waist and his touch gives me goosebumps. Why does it feel so right, so good?

After being overwhelmed at first, Damon takes the lead and pushes me against the wall in vamp speed, still making sure that he won't hurt me. His fingers run up and down my body and I grab his shirt, pulling it over his neck. For a split-second, we are apart and we both can't stand it, as soon as his upper body is bare our lips find their way back together, longing for each other. He can't even wait for me to undress, he just rips my dress in two pieces, not ending our kiss. Damon starts to cover my neck with kisses while my fingers slide over his muscles down to his belt that I try to open while moaning due to the pleasure his touches give me. After another vamp speed transport, he throws me on his bed and history takes its course.

x

Okaaay, I hope you enjoyed this. I'm not used to write romance scenes, I'm not used to write in present tense and I'm not used to write in English, therefore, I'm not really satisfied but I hope it is bearable!

I'm looking forward to feedback and criticism! In the next chapter, someone unexpected will make their appearance...

Love, Nina


	3. Chapter 3

I stare at the ceiling. My gaze is so intense, some people could think I wanted to burn a hole in it if they saw me right now. I'm trying not to move, keeping my breath flat. As if it changed anything. I hear his breath right next to me, he doesn't know what to do either. Or say. Or probably think. I feel so ashamed that I could strangle myself. My head is pounding. I've had it coming, with the deliberately getting drunk thing and all. Although my whole body aches, the guilt is more painful. I feel hatred for myself. How can one be so selfish? Why couldn't I resist my urges? After all, I chose Stefan! Then, he gets kidnapped and instead of investing all my power into finding him I sleep with his brother while he probably suffers somewhere! What kind of a person does that make me? And even if we find him, how can I look him in the eyes again? I'm not worthy of him. I'm a stupid bitch, that's what I am.

"Well", Damon says, clearing his throat, "It's a good thing this isn't awkward."

I can't help but smile a little. As bad as this situation may be, the both of us lying next to each other like we're paralysed has an undeniably comedic touch. I finally manage to stop staring at the ceiling and sit up, grabbing the blanket to cover my naked body. It's somehow ironic, given that he has seen me naked all night anyway.

I can't be in denial. We have to sort this out, if that is even possible.

"We really shouldn't have done that" is the first thing I say after his gaze catches mine. I feel so uncomfortable.

"I know", he agrees, "I'm sorry."

I just shake my head, still not able to believe my own stupidity. Again, I look away. I can't stand his presence in this situation. It should be Stefan.

"Stefan doesn't deserve this. How could we?", I say, more speaking to myself than him.

"I know", he repeats himself, "I know."

This is followed by about ten minutes of deafening silence, in which we both are taken up by our feelings and thoughts. Guilt. So much guilt. What makes it even worse is that I enjoyed it. It felt like rain after years of drought. Why did it feel so damn right when it was so incredibly wrong? I also feel sorry for Damon. I know that this it what he has always wanted, but he doesn't want it this way. He doesn't want to betray his brother. In a way, I've betrayed them both. I don't even know why they still bother with me, considering what kind of person I am. I could choke at the thought of my controversial egoistic self. In between the thoughts, there are flashes of memory. I reminisce in the thoughts of his incredibly well-shaped naked body over mine, of his abs, of his hands in my hair, of his lips kissing every square-inch of my body. I'd never say it out loud because that would mean admitting it – but he is a god. He is the personification of beauty and, hell, it was so good. The more I let this into my thoughts, the guiltier I feel. Stefan. I officially cheated on him.

"You know what", he finally breaks the silence, "We're gonna get dressed and leave this room. And with that, we're gonna leave the whole night behind us. It never happened. It was wrong and a mistake and we will never think of it again. Or mention it again. We will leave this room and continue our lives like we did yesterday. And the day before. And we're gonna find Stefan."

I nod and wish it could work. But we are both aware that it doesn't work that way. Nonetheless, we don't speak of it again as we get up and silently put our clothes on.

Not talking, we make our way to the hall, him in the crumpled clothes of yesterday, me in one of his t-shirts that was way too big for me since he had torn my dress into pieces. The remains of it must still be in the hall. I'd just burn them.

When we arrive I notice we are not alone.

"Look who we have here", Katherine says, holding up what's left of my dress, "It's my poor, not-so-innocent Damon and my uglier shadow-self. Why do you two look so grumpy?"

x

sorry this is so short!


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry I didn't see your reviews earlier! Thanks for the nice feedback. I'm from Germany!

X

I'm unable to move any further. Damon stops beside me. We both are paralysed by a mixture of surprise and shock.

Damon is the first to find his voice again.

"Katherine, what the actual fuck are you doing here?"

She smiles and throws my dress into the fire, which is still burning.

"I'm here to help."

At that, I lose control over my facial muscles. I hate her. All I know is that I want her gone.

"But we can go into details later", she continues, "I first have a few questions for you two lovebirds."

Damon grimaces but we both know there's no point in denying it. Our plan with the whole forgetting about it thing is officially screwed. I look down as I realise that I'm not better than she is.

"Relax", she says while playing with a strand of her hair, "This actually plays into my hands. You can wash that look of guilt of your face, Gilbert, nothing I haven't done before."

 _Exactly,_ I think.

"What the hell do you want?", Damon asks fiercely. I notice that he moved in front of me, shielding me from her. It hurts me to see this simple testimonial of his love. It would be so much easier if he didn't love me. If it seriously just was a simple one-night-stand.

"Why don't we discuss this at breakfast? I'm sure Elena is hungry after... such exhausting activities and as a matter of fact, I am, too. Why don't you go fetch me some blood bags?"

I find myself in yet another uncomfortable conversation, sitting next to Damon, facing my evil doppelgänger. But she was right – I am hungry.

While she sucks a blood bag empty, trying to look as innocent and seductive as possible at the same time, she starts speaking: "I really came to help. As a peace offering I promise to keep my mouth shut about your little indiscretion, Elena. Your guilt will probably force you to tell him, anyway. After we find him. See, I've been around for a couple of days and I couldn't help but realise that Stefan was gone. The blonde girl fessed up about what's going on. And I want to help."

Damon and I exchange a look. As much as we both dislike her, we can't reject any help. Especially when we checked one dead end after another. Nevertheless, just the sight of her face makes me angry, which is quite funny because it's exactly my face. Problem is, I can only stand it on me. The way she pronounces my name makes my blood boil.

"Fine", Damon hisses, "What does almighty Katherine Pierce suggest?"

She smiles contently before she answers: "Caroline told me you've checked his diaries for possible enemies. I think that's the right direction. It's obviously nobody trying to get back at you, they would have made sure that you know he's suffering. So it has to be someone who holds a grudge personally against Stefan."

"Figured that out months ago", Damon interrupts her. She looks at him in an almost admonishing way and says: "Let me finish, my sweet, impatient Salvatore. You know that during his ripper days he didn't bother with names. He was high on blood for days and couldn't remember afterwards. The only thing he kept track of – and I admire how he was able to do that – was his victims. His wall of shame in Chicago."

We can't help but look surprised.

"What, didn't think I checked up on my little Salvatores from time to time after I faked my death? I just had to stay in the shadows. I know more about you than you think. Or are you surprised because in months of failure you didn't think of the wall?"

None of us wants to answer that.

"Its only logical", she states, "He killed someone somebody held dear. This somebody witnessed it and learned the truth about vampires. Or was already a vampire back then. Or a witch, I don't even care. They managed to stay alive – that's our clue. We're gonna go to Chicago and check everyone on the list."

As much as I despise her, I can't help but be impressed. She is clever. And after months of frustration, it sounds like an actual plan. I nod, trying not to look too amazed. I don't want to giver her that satisfaction.

"Kay then", Damon says, "That's settled."

"So, who's up for a little roadtrip?", Katherine concludes very content with herself. "Why don't you two start your walk of shame and get dressed properly. I'm gonna pack lunch."

I could smack her for her sarcastic comments, but I get up and make my way to the guest room. After I put on a pair of skinny jeans and a dark blouse, I fold Damon's shirt carefully and put it in one of the drawers. As much as I hate myself for sleeping with him and cheating on Stefan and hurting them both and all, I don't plan on giving it back.

When I stood in front of Stefan's wall of victims, I felt a shudder down my spine. I was terrified when I saw it for the first time, the second time wasn't any better either. I felt Damon's presence directly behind me and it calmed me down, but it still was an odd feeling. Even Katherine managed to keep her mouth shut, even if I'm sure if she kept a list hers would be way longer. The perversion of this wall wasn't that Stefan killed those people – though that bit is terrifying, too – no, it's that he kept track of them meticulously.

"Well", said Damon while using his phone to take photos of the wall, "At least we can cross Giuseppe Salvatore out. It wasn't me who kidnapped Stefan."

I knew he just wanted to ease the situation but nobody laughed.

Now, back in the Boardinghouse, we have gathered Bonnie, Caroline and her mom around the table in the kitchen. Katherine has a photocopy of the list in front of her.

"We have to split the names up and have to do research. It won't be easy, these people have been dead for hundred years. It's a good thing they invented the Internet. Even though, we really need your help, Sheriff.", Katherine explains.

"I really want to be helpful, but I can't let five people unsupervised into the police station and let them look up like a hundred names.", she answered with an apologetic look on her face.

Damon cocks his eyebrowes.

"Look, Liz, I'm sorry that I have to say it that way. But if you don't let us, we're gonna go the next city and compel the police station there. It's my brother we're talking about."

Liz nods and sighs, surrendering.

"Thanks", I say and smile.

Katherine rolls her eyes. "Good. I wanna take Joseph Dowling, Nathaniel Craig and Randy Smith. I'm not sure but I might have known them. I'm gonna make a list for each one of you, let's meet at 1am."

We have a plan.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for all the new reviews guys! I really appreciate it x Sorry for not updating, I'm still stuck in my A-Levels, even if I've finished the "real" exams.

x

It's been two months now. We've decided to move our research to Chicago. The police department is quite useless concerning deaths a century in the past. Now we're going through city archives. It's a Sisyphean task. Mostly, the names lead to nothing. Sometimes, you find wedding announcements in old journals. Or deaths. Funeral invitations. Praise the digital age, though, a lot of stuff in the archives has been digitalized. Which makes it a bit easier. I have the impression that Katherine's got something because she is hardly at the archives with us, she's mostly visiting people. So she is a step ahead of the rest of us who spend days and weeks reading mostly irrelevant stuff. Bonnie, Caroline and me should be going back to school. If compulsion wasn't a thing, we'd be completely lost. How could I ever explain my absence? I'm sorry, my boyfriend has been missing for months. He killed a few people in the 1920s, so we thought we might find a few vampires with motives to capture him in Chicago. And by the way, I cheated on him, a voice in the back of my head says.

When we need to sleep or shower, we stay at a motel. I share a room with Damon, which I knew from the start was a horribly bad idea. But neither Bonnie nor Caroline wanted to share with him, and sure as hell nobody wanted to share a room with Katherine. To be honest, it annoys me that she is the one who has most success. On the upside, though, we don't see her a lot. I can't stand her sight, I can't stand her sarcastic comments or her looks that she gives Damon and me. Like I don't know that I screwed up. Big time.

Another honest confession – our existence here is miserable. It's frustrating and exhausting. And it's been weeks since I slept in my own bed. And to top all this, I've been sick the whole week. I've been throwing up every morning. It is awkward enough to share the bed with Damon and staring very forced in the opposite direction, without really speaking to each other. But I'm literally waking him up every morning by me vomiting. If that doesn't sound like paradise, I don't know what does.

"Elena", Damon asks in a sleepy voice, "Are you okay?"

I can't answer – since I'm currently throwing up and all. Before I know it, he has vampsped behind me and is holding my hair back. Damn, I should've locked the door. I don't want him to see me this way. It would be easier not to see him at all. I practically feel him grimacing behind me, even if I can't really look at him. He doesn't say anything at all, but he's rubbing my back. I don't want to admit it, but it's comforting.

When it's finally over, I feel dizzy. I don't want to turn around and have to look him in the eyes, so I just mumble: "Sorry" and flush. I try to focus on one point but it just … swirls. It feels like my head is spinning. Even though, I try to stand up. I just want to get out of this situation. I have to get back to work anyway. My feet don't find stability. It all goes black.

When I open my eyes, the first thing I see is his concerned look. I'm lying in bed. He must have carried me there. I'm sure I look gross, I am gross. What I need right now is a shower and a lot of sleep. I should be working, but I know I can't. I feel so damn weak.

"Thank god, you're awake", Damon sighs. He pets my hair.

"You really need to see a doctor. This has been going on for a week now, you might have the flu or something."

I gather all my strength to focus.

"Sorry", I apologise again, "And thanks. But I don't need a doctor. I'm gonna take the day off and sleep a bit, tomorrow will be better. It's nothing."

He furrows his forehead.

"Elena, I'm quite sure it's not nothing. You really should see a doctor."

I don't know why I'm so angry, but I almost shout at him: "No, just let me be. Go do your research."

What am I saying? I clearly hurt him. But I really need to be alone because a dull presentiment begins to form in my head.

After he shuts the door, I take a shower and brush my teeth. My thoughts are distracting me. But once, they have nothing to do with Stefan. Or me cheating on him with Damon. Well, that's not quite true. Indirectly, they have to do with Damon. I know it's not possible but I show all the symptoms.

After restoring myself to a bearable look I leave our room. I'm going to go the pharmacy right around the street corner.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys!

Sorry for not posting. School stuff and all. Thanks for the new reviews! The comments on my English are really reassuring!

X

"You're WHAT?", Caroline shrieks irritated. Bonnie just sits there in Caroline's and her room and looks like someone just slapped her. Well, I did. Verbally.

I close my eyes and try to focus. Both of their reactions and so many more mirror mine. It took me a few days to accept my fate. To realise this is really happening. Part of me still does not want to believe it. It's supposed to be impossible.

"I'm pregnant", I whisper. I can't look them in the eyes. This is the ultimate proof for me failing as a person. As a girlfriend. And I'm so damn stuck. And it took me so long to find the courage to tell Bonnie and Caroline, who are supposed to be my best friends. How can I ever tell Damon? And all this time, I've been pretending like everything is okay. I wanted to focus on the search for Stefan but I couldn't. For once, I wasn't jealous of Katherine. I just wanted her to find him so that my failure won't be delaying his saviour. But – If we find him – how am I supposed to tell Stefan? I am pregnant with the baby of my boyfriend's brother. How absurd does that sound. But I can't let me think this way. I can't be hoping that we won't find him. It would be terrible. But I wouldn't have to face him. I'm a coward. My stomach turns just at the thought of telling Damon that he's going to be a father.

 _Vampires can't procreate. But we love to try._

Internally, I laugh sarcastically. You tried one too many times, Damon.

Both, obviously, are still trying to process the news. I actually see how it makes CLICK in Caroline's thoughts.

"YOU SLEPT WITH DAMON?"

She looks like somebody just told her that unicorns live in her shower. Or that she was gonna go to Hogwarts.

I just shrug my shoulders. I don't even try to explain myself. There is no explanation besides my own stupidity.

I thought, being without Stefan was a bad experience. But this situation is the worst I've ever been in. Stefan is still missing. I'm going to be a teen mom. The father of my unborn child is a more than 150-year-old vampire with no sense of responsibility. And he is my missing boyfriend's brother. Also, the child may be half – vampire. Maybe I'm going to end up dead like Bella from Twilight. Well, then at least I won't have to face the guilt. But my child is going to grow up without a mother. My child. I'm going to have a child.

"Elena Gilbert. What the fuck got into your head. How is this even possible."

I just shake my head. I don't have words any more. I just want to go back in time and undo everything. This pregnancy probably is a punishment for my behaviour and that's why it's possible.

"It's probably got something to do with her being a doppelgänger.", Bonnie sighs.

I look up. It's the first time that she speaks. When her gaze meets mine, I see her disappointment. But also empathy. And sorrow. And pain. I can't help but start crying.

When Bonnie pulls me in an empathetic hug, I'm already sobbing. Caroline takes part in trying to calm me down. She probably swallowed the news and now creates a plan for the perfect pregnancy in her head.

"Ssh", she says, "we're gonna get through this together. It's gonna be fine."

I'd love to believe her. Surprisingly, the person in my thoughts isn't Stefan. It's Damon. I'm also putting him in a miserable situation. He's going to have to live with it for all eternity. And it was completely my fault. He pulled away. I didn't. I may have broken the brothers' bond forever. It will be beyond repairable.

"Have you been to the doctor's?", Caroline asks. She is in her organising mood. And it's probably the only rational thing to do. I can't help but smile a little. At least, with her on my side, I won't fail this pregnancy.

"Which symptoms have you been having? How much does Damon know?"

And there goes the slightest bit of optimism. I have to tell Damon. I have to tell him. How.

I try to speak clearly, but my voice is trembling by me crying.

"No, I haven't. I've been throwing up a lot lately. Every morning. That's the only thing Damon knows. And he's worried about me. Oh my god, how can I ever tell him?"

"Well, you'll have to. Someday he will notice that you're getting fat", Caroline chuckles and a small grin reaches my lips. "You have to go to the doctor and make sure everything's al right. If you don't want to go alone, Bonnie and I can come. Or you can make Damon go, if you tell him soon."

I shudder at the thought.

"I can't keep you from working. Stefan doesn't deserve this."

It surprises me how much Caroline supports me since I know how much she cares for Stefan and how much she despises the thought of Damon and me.

"Well. One of us can go. Stefan wouldn't want you to be alone in this crappy time, despite everything you've done."

I nod, but I'm still crying.

"How am I supposed to tell Stefan when we finally find him?"

"Worry about that when we have a promising lead. You've got to tell Damon. Maybe Bonnie and you can make an appointment and when you're sure everything is fine you can tell him."

I nod again. Then she looks at me very seriously.

"Abortion is not an option for you, is it? It's the obvious solution."

It's not that I haven't thought of it. It's just that the mere thought of killing Damon's and my child makes me shudder.

"I couldn't."

She pulls me in her hug, while Bonnie pats my back.

Suddenly, the doors fling open. Katherine has made an appearance and looks at me as if I was a crying baby.

"Whatever is the matter now, Gilbert, suck it up. I've got a lead. I have to make some investigations but I think it looks really good. I knew his wife, Ada. I was the one who turned her. I just didn't know it was Stefan she had an eternal grudge on."


End file.
